Love or Competition: Which is Your Relationship Based On?

From Madamenorie.com

 

madamenoire.com

Once you start to veer off the path of love—and I mean doing things because you genuinely and selflessly want the best for the other person—things can get confusing. You don’t trust your partner. Your partner doesn’t trust you. Suddenly, taking care of the relationship and taking care of yourself are two things that don’t coincide. That’s when your relationship is more about competition—about being the one who doesn’t get hurt, embarrassed, or screwed over—than about loving someone.

talkingnutrition.dsm.com

Is telling the truth complicated?

If you know your partner wants to see the best in you and makes an effort to do so, when you have something to tell him, you’ll just spit it out. But, if you find yourself trying to perfectly word everything you say to your partner, that means you fear your partner wants to catch you in a lie, or looks for the negative in everything you say.

thereal-talk.blogspot.com

Will you cry in front of him?

If you refuse to show your partner the tears that he has provoked, you’re trying to keep him from seeing you weak. But, a relationship is the one place you should feel comfortable being completely weak! If you can’t do that, the foundation for the relationship is gone.

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Do you get sad, or angry?

When your partner does something that upsets you, do you feel deeply sad and want to cry? Or do you feel infuriated? We tend to get sad about actions done by people who we know didn’t mean to hurt us. When we’re sad, we’re often reacting to an action, not a person. If you’re immediately yelling or plotting to get your guy back when he does something that hurts you, that means you believe he mea

redredapples.wordpress.com

Have you ever tried to make him jealous?

This is not healthy behavior. It’s just not. And, typically a woman tries to make a man jealous when she feels it is her only option for getting attention from him. Translation: she doesn’t feel she can simply say, “I wish we spent more time together” or “I’ve felt distant from you lately, can we fix that?” Again—instead of making herself vulnerable and communicating, she makes the man jealous. That’s not love—that’s competition. She is trying to win his affections, instead of asking for them.

essence.com

Why do you fight?

I’ve said it before but it really is an important distinction you should be able to make about your relationship: when you fight, do you do it because of a deep desire to get closer to your partner—to work through issues/misunderstandings/disagreements that are creating a distance between you? Or, do you fight to hurt him? Do the things you do and say when fighting actually serve zero purpose in terms of making things better? If you ever actually want to hurt your partner, you’re competing to be the less weak one, once again.

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Do you tell your friends about your fights?

If you really just want fights to be over and are happy to be at peace again with your partner, you won’t go yapping to your friends about what a jerk he has been. You’ll be on his side and you’ll respect the mutual understanding that the fight is over. If you find yourself trying to get people “on your side” you’re not trying to resolve things. You’re trying to win things.

reginaroc.com

Are you a “power couple”?

This is a term that refers to only a select group of people but, the power couple is a real thing. Do you both hold high positions at your job? Are you perhaps both on your way to being celebrities? Are you both CEO’s? Business owners? Are you a couple that people look at and say, “Damn. That couple is going places?” Terrific! Unless, you’ve become so aware of your status as “powerful,” that you start constantly worrying about keeping up the image. You become competitive with your partner because, you’re both trying to continue to prove you deserve the label “power couple.”