Women Choosing Their Husband's Friends-Fact or Fiction ?

Women Choosing Their Husband's Friends: A Sad State of Affairs.
By Mason Jamal of BV on LOVE




I've always been partly amused, partly aghast by a man who allows his significant other to dictate which of his friends are socially suitable to hang out with. It's becoming more and more common. What is happening to men? Granted, we've come a long way since the days when male chauvinism was the rule and women were expected to be docile housewives.

Women wear pants now - both literally and metaphorically - as they should. But does this mean that men should be sporting form-fitting pencil skirts? I'm not saying that men have to wear THE pants in a relationship, but I do feel strongly that they should wear A PAIR of pants in the relationship - again, both literally and metaphorically.

The problem begins with mythology: a set of traditions or beliefs associated with a particular group that, by definition, are exaggerated, if not completely made-up, for the purpose of explaining something that's otherwise inexplicable. Immediately, the Republican platform comes to mind as an example of mythology, but even more flagrant in my estimation is the male species.

Many men are not who they purport themselves to be. It's a Fonzi-scheme, so to speak. Their egos, their postures - their brands, if you will - are based on the masculine mythology that, as the person with the penis in the relationship, they run things.

To that I say man, please; hombre, por favor; bwana, tafadhali. English, Spanish, Swahili - my skepticism is fluent in three languages. The truth is, men have become more like human pets in their own households these days: housebroken, the whole nine.

This leads us to the problem of men having their friends vetted as if the VP nomination is at stake. Ladies, it's not like he's trying to bring a buddy home for a ménage-a-trois. Well, unless you have one of those husbands. In most cases, however, crossing swords is not on the agenda. So why can't a guy just take a weekend trip to Vegas with Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike without having to lie about Bobby? Granted, Bobby has had narcotics issues, marital meltdowns, and as many arrests as he has children by different women, but it's not like he's a bad influence. After all, mistrust is what this is all about, isn't it?

This is why married male friends, especially those who have also been henpecked to the point of submission, are more likely to get the stamp of approval. Single male friends, who enjoy being single, rarely get through the approval process successfully and, if they do, they come with a high interest rate and are always subject to repossession.

There is no sadder spectacle than to see a man have a friend repo'd. I got repo'd once. Just like that, my "all access" pass was revoked because I was deemed too much of relationship liability for my married friend. I write from a place of pain.

And, the thing is, it's rarely an issue in reverse. Aside from a pathological misogynist from the spirit of Ike Turner, the average man doesn't harbor the urge to approve the friends of his significant others. What some men do harbor, however, is the subconscious need to be mothered by his wife.

I'm not a pop psychologist; I just happen to play one online sometimes. That said, I can't speak with any absolute certainty as to why men or their significant others behave in this way. I just know that it's kind of wack.

In the end, it's pretty much laughable. Wives and girlfriends will be wives and girlfriends. Sometimes they're cool about things, sometimes not. And husbands and boyfriends will be husbands and boyfriends... except when they're too busy being neutered house pets.

13 Kinds Of Sex Every Couple Needs

13 Kinds Of Sex Every Couple Needs. . . . . . What sexual frontiers have you and your partner yet to explore?

Every couple needs to change up their sexual routine every now and again so it doesn't become just that—a routine. Sexual experimentation is key for keeping a long-term relationship fresh, fun and fulfilling. Opening up about your desires can also bring you and your partner closer together. "Experimenting with each other requires a willingness to be vulnerable, which improves intimacy," says Mort Fertel, Baltimore marriage counselor and creator of the Marriage Fitness Program.


What types of sex might you and your partner be missing out on? Check out the suggestions below to learn what every couple should try.

Holiday Sex

If there's a three-day weekend associated with any holiday, you better believe that couples are getting busy between the sheets. Valentine's Day, Memorial Day, Fourth of July and especially New Year's Eve see a spike in sexual activity and conception in the United States, according to biorhythm researchers. No wonder. Who doesn't want to start the New Year off right?


Make-Up Sex


A passionate argument can lead to some just-as-passionate action between the sheets. Fighting causes dopamine and adrenaline levels to rise, making you and your partner excitable in more ways than one. Every couple faces occasional conflict, and sex after a disagreement can be a great way to get your relationship back on track. "When you're upset with each other, you need to be able to get over it and move on," says Fertel. "Sex changes the momentum after an argument."

Vacation Sex


The two of you may be tucked away in a private room, but the deed can still feel thrillingly public. And those crisp, clean sheets are just begging to be rumpled. Best of all, a vacation can be a great opportunity to re-connect with your partner sexually. "One of the benefits of a vacation should be to renew your sexual intimacy," Fertel says. If you usually plan every minute of a trip, make sure you schedule time for sex. For example, plan to stay at the hotel until mid-morning or to come right back to your room after dinner for a relaxing night together.

Animalistic Sex


A sense of urgency can turn up the heat in a major way. Being aggressive can be fun and unexpected—romance with a twist. After all, it's an element of mystery that defines romance. "It's when you don't quite know what to expect," Fertel says. So if you're in the mood, ripping each other's clothes off and skimping on foreplay could be an exciting change of pace.

Comfort Sex


Like meatloaf and mashed potatoes, sometimes you just need something that's simple, familiar and satisfying. It's one way to provide love and support when you or your partner has had a rough day or is feeling down. This is when it might be time to use your favorite stand-by position, one that you and your partner always enjoy. "When it comes to the climax, sometimes it needs to be in a certain way, and that's OK," says Fertel.

Hope-We-Don't-Get-Caught Sex


If you're at a boring party or family gathering, add a little spice to the evening by sneaking away to the spare bedroom. The possibility of getting caught adds a new level of excitement to your sex life and can even give you a reason to look forward to spending the holidays with the in-laws

Fulfill-Your-Fantasy Sex


Everyone has sexual fantasies, and as long as both you and your partner feel comfortable acting them out, there's no reason you shouldn't try them. "We should be pursuing each other's fantasies, assuming they're appropriate," says Fertel. For example, if your partner has always dreamed of doing the deed on a boat, why not rent one and spend a romantic night at sea? All aboard!

Quickie Sex


If you're pressed for time, don't write off sex just yet—this is when "the quickie" comes in handy. Just make sure it's something both parties want; an unfulfilling experience for either one of you can foster resentment and, over time, weaken the relationship. When someone says yes to sex when she really means no, "she's not doing him a favor; she's making a mistake," Fertel says. "It will turn her off to him sexually long-term."

Romantic, Sensual Sex


Taking the time to savor sex without rushing through it can be luxurious and fulfilling on many levels. Connecting with your partner by taking it slow means you get to enjoy every moment of being together and lets you take advantage of the emotional connection that makes sex better. Whether it takes candles, music or some bubbly, building the mood can provide a major boost between the sheets.


All-Over-the-House Sex


Switching up your lovemaking location can be a great way to inject some spontaneity into a relationship, which in turn can make your partner feel even more desirable. "Spontaneity is beautiful. It's fun and exciting," says Fertel. "Too often people get into a routine where they have sex at the same time, at the same place." If you and your partner are doing the laundry together, for example, pulling him or her close for a quick rendezvous can be surprising and refreshing. It's good, clean fun—no detergent required!


Outdoor Sex


You tell your kids to go play outside -- now it's time to practice what you preach! Bringing your sexual escapades outside can be fun and invigorating. If you're camping in a tent or live on a large piece of property, those can be great opportunities to try something new. But to avoid legal problems, it's best to keep your shenanigans private. "The caution is to make sure you're somewhere where you could not be in the public eye," Fertel says. So venture outside to learn more about the birds and the bees.


Position of the Week Sex


Trying out a new position offers the chance to learn more about what brings your partner pleasure. Some positions work better than others for helping a woman orgasm, and experimenting with new ones can give you a better feel for what works —and what doesn't. Mixing it up keeps sex fresh and prevents it from becoming routine, Fertel says. That makes it more likely you and your partner will keep doing it—literally.


Marathon Sex


Come rain, snow, sleet or hail, when the weather gets frightful this winter there's no better excuse to spend an entire day in bed. Think of it as Bedroom Olympics. Work together for a common goal, like breaking your record for how many times you can do the horizontal tango in a row. When your sexual energy is finally tapped out, you'll both be exhausted and satisfied.

So you think we might have missed one or two. . .Let us know, we are always looking for new things to try in the afternoon 
Provided by AOL Health.

10 Lies Men Tell(From BV on Love)

(And A Few More, Because They Lie A Lot.)

They say honesty is the best policy, but somehow, that memo didn't quite reach the male species. Men love to claim that women are the best liars around, but most men simply don't tell the truth; at least, not the whole truth. They just get better at lying. Or at least they think they do.

But there's a reason women are the ones in charge of bringing life into this world: we're quicker on the uptake. Sorry, guys, but we've been onto you for years. Here are some of the best tall tales ever created since the boy who cried wolf:


1. "I'll call you."
It isn't hard to make a phone call. At least it wasn't before text messaging replaced actual conversation and relationships were catapulted from social networking sites and Instant Messaging conversations. Yet somehow it seems easier for men to end a conversation with, "I'll call you later" or "I'll call you right back" instead of being honest and saying, "I will try to call. I might even think about it, but I most likely won't because my attention span is akin to a golden retriever's."

2. "My phone was dead/off/on silent."
Most of the lies men tell are directly linked to wrongdoing. READ: CHEATING. When a man says his phone is off, it usually means he was getting off...with someone other than you.

3. "Just the tip..."
Men want sex. It's their endgame. It's all that matters. If a guy tells you anything along the lines of, "We're just going to sleep," or "I just wanna talk," or even better, "We're just gonna lay here with our clothes off and rub up against each other for fun's sake," he's lying. You are either getting the nookie or getting the nookie.

4. "I've been busy."
We all know when we're getting written off. The truth of the matter is that people make time for the things they want to make time for. Yes, it can be a crazy week. Sure, he could be inundated with deadlines and meetings. Of course, his pet parakeet, Arthur, could have dropped dead and he's been busy making funeral arrangements, but it's more likely he isn't that busy at all. Just too busy to be bothered with making time for you.

5. Height
Similar to women giving or taking a solid six pounds from their weight, men seem to enjoy adding a few inches to their height. Ludicrous, because it's just so obvious. Right up there with toupees, Just For Men, and Rogaine. Have you ever listened to a 5'9 man state with much bravado that he is 6'? No, he is not. Four inches makes an ENORMOUS difference. Which leads us to...

Share Tweet
6. "Size doesn't matter."
Please do not even bother with this one, guys. It does. And if you're running around telling this little tale, we're going to guess you know the itty, bitty truth.

7. "...This isn't what it looks like."
Women have eyes and most of them can see quite well, so when we walk in on a potentially bad situation and you feed us with "This isn't what it looks like," you are not only lying to us, but you are now trying to convince us that our own eyes are liars as well. This will most likely piss us off even further. When it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and poops all over our shoes, well, you know what it is.

8. Number of sexual partners
Men think chicks win this lie war, but men are the kings of half-truths when it comes to bedpost notches. Men usually forget the number of women they've actually slept with, so instead of getting a solid 41, they give you a nice, rounded 50. It also does wonders for the ego.

9. "I love you."
Sad, but true. Some say women use sex to get love, while men use love to get sex. Men are incredibly simple creatures and one of their basic fundamentals for survival is getting laid. In fact, most of their daily activities contribute to the ultimate goal of getting laid, so uttering those three little words, while excessive and extreme, gets the job done... easily.

10. "It isn't you, it's me."
It isn't him. It's you.
___________

Worth Mentioning (Honorably, of course):

11. "I'm single."
Men somehow forget when they're single, so instead they just lie. "She's not my girlfriend"; "we aren't exclusive"; "I'm married, but we're unhappy or separated (but living in the same house...)". These are all some personal favorites.

12. "You look good in that outfit." (aka "you don't look fat")
This one is a bit of a freebie, as guys have little choice in the matter. One of the first life lessons young boys are taught is to always say a woman looks good in whatever she has on when prompted. Who cares if she's wearing a dead swan wrapped around her body? When she says, "honey, does this look okay?" it is a man's job to lie, lie, and lie some more by simply saying, "Yep."

13. "I will not think differently of you, if you..."
Double standards are an absolute killer. Don't fall for it. He will absolutely think differently of you... and will probably have the video as proof.

Men: Can you agree with any of these points, or are you victims of frontin'? Tell us!

10 Lies Women Tell(From BV on Love)

10 Lies Women Tell


At the heart of any healthy relationship are two very important elements-trust and communication. Unfortunately, most couples don't obtain either because of one simple thing: lying. And we all know that women are the biggest liars around. (Or are they?) In fact, here are 10 common lies that women tell.



1. "I haven't had sex in a while, but not by choice."
Women have the luxury of having sex whenever they want because there are very few men that will actually turn down a physical encounter. In the rare case that a woman does come across a guy who says "no," there's probably a string of others behind him that will say yes. In fact, any man that hears this lie would probably sleep with that woman right then and there. So if a woman has gone a extended period of time without sex she has done so completely by choice.

2. "I'm looking for a good man."
Then why do you keep dating losers? Women say they want a certain type of man but oftentimes end up dealing with guys that are the complete opposite, while the supposed "good" guys are left by the wayside. Clearly, women don't know what they want or what's good for them. Where do you think the phrase, "nice guys finish last" came from?

3. "I don't know why I'm single."
Yes, you do. Maybe you're too needy, too clingy, too emotional or too crazy. Whatever the case may be, your long line of exes (or even your friends) have probably told you what the problem is. You just choose not to listen and, worse yet, do anything about it.

4. "I look good for my age."
And what age would that be? The one you tell everyone you are or the actual number of years you've been alive? Either way, time will eventually catch up to you and I can probably see it in your face. Sorry, not every woman can have the seemingly eternally good genes of Halle Berry or Stacey Dash... and that's okay.

5. "I'm over my ex."
If his name constantly comes up in conversation, then chances are you're not. I don't know the brother so I have no reason to bring him up, so that only leaves you... and your baggage.

Share Tweet
6. "Size matters."
No, it doesn't... At least that's what the other women I've dated said and it's not like they'd lie about something like that, right? ...Right?

7. "I'll be ready in a minute."
Translation: "This may take a while." From changing shoes and outfits 20 times to finding the "right" bag to putting on "my face," women are notorious for bending space and time to transform what should by definition be 60 seconds into an extended sit down and twiddle your thumbs session.

8. "I have nothing to wear."
Please, the average woman has more clothes than hair follicles. Still, most women look for any excuse to go shopping and believing they have "nothing to wear" is just a means to another time-consuming end.

9. "You know I don't normally do this sort of thing."
The "this" in question is usually some sexual act that a woman would like you to believe is not part of her normal repertoire, but based on her adeptness at said act it's likely she has experience in this particular area. No complaints here, so I'll just play along.

10. "We can have sex with no strings attached."
Yeah, right. No matter how hard women try to "act like a lady and think like a man," they're just not wired the same way as men when it comes to sex. It's virtually impossible for the average woman to separate the emotional aspects from the physical act of sex.

Ladies - do you agree with any of these points, or do you find yourselves victims of frontin'? Tell us!

A Virgin Reborn . . . .

The period immediately following a divorce can be a confusing and unsettling time for a man. When it comes to sex, a lot of men expect to rush right back into an intimate relationship with a woman, and even think something is wrong with them if they don't.

Nothing could be further from the truth. A newly divorced man must guard against trying to take things too fast.

Don't look for sex right away with a new woman. Remember that many women identify sex with a caring, long-term relationship. Unless that's what you want right now, rushing into a sexual relationship is a bad idea. Although it may feel safe and reassuring to replace your ex-wife with another woman in bed immediately, the fact is that most men need a transitional time. This means dating is fine but the heavy commitment sex brings to a new relationship may not be. Take some time to find out who you are first.

Search for a new partner with patience and intelligence. The first instinct of many men post-divorce is to jump into the singles bar scene or into online dating immediately. Instead, step back and think about what you want in a future partner, and understand what went wrong last time. Instead of hitting on every woman in sight, make an effort to join social networks that attract the kind of woman you are looking for. It'll be much better to meet a new partner through common interests than through hoping to hit the jackpot in your one-night stands. That's not to say bars and dating services might not be an option eventually, but you want to approach everything slowly and on your terms. If you put on a big show and get a woman to fall for an act instead of who you are, you might find yourself saddled with a whole new set of relationship problems.

When you do have sex again, don't expect fireworks. Divorce makes people worry about getting older and losing time, but don't expect to jump from a divorce straight into the sexual Olympics. When you and your new partner do reach the right time for sex, take it slow. It's much better to focus on the romantic and sensual side of things than to rush into bed with the 10 best Kama Sutra positions. After all, if you are moving into a meaningful relationship, you have plenty of time to spice things up.

Don't spoil the wonder. To a newly divorced guy, even a first kiss can and should be exciting. Be romantic and build up to the right moment, and feel free to back off if the timing isn't right. The new woman in your life will be far more understanding if you go slow or want to wait than if you are rushing her into the bedroom.

There is life and sex after divorce. But not in the first week, and maybe not in the first year. As a man you need to take your time and worry about your own emotional state, as well as that of your potential partner.