All Vaginas Are Not Pleasing to the Male Species as Assumed

 

By How To Get The Man Of Your Dreams.com posted on YourTango.com

 

 Men will tell other men about how bad it was but they will not tell you.

All Vaginas Are Not Pleasing to the Male Species as Assumed

The only way you will get this information out of a man is if you have seriously hurt his ego or made him extremely mad.

 

Despite what one may think, a man will become uninterested for this very reason. He will never tell you because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. How do you know you if a man likes your Vagina? How do you know he does not?

Just because you have a vagina doesn't mean it’s good, agreeable or likeable to the man you are seeing. Contrary popular beliefs, women who are skinny have deeper vaginas than women who have big butts. It’s funny because you would think that it’s the other way around, the women with the big butts are the women with the deep canals, but in all actuality the women who are skinny have the deeper canals.

So a lot of men chase the women with the big butts. Perhaps it’s because there's less ground to cover. There is a bottom. If a man can't find the bottom of the canal, then that's a bit of a problem and makes the experience uninviting. He will gladly refer you to the guy who is more suited to go deeper.
“Hey Charlie, I met this woman. She's really deep, I want you to meet her.”
Have you ever heard a woman say? "This is not going to work." It’s either one of two reasons: It’s either too big or too small. Have you ever heard a man say? "This is not going to work." Even though we may realize at the point of insertion and one stroke later that, “this is not going to work”. We are going to still try immediate solutions by adjusting the angles or positioning, and if all else fails its dildo time. And consequently you'll never hear us say, “It’s not going to work.” Instead, you'll just notice that we’ll disappear. The key here is we are not going to stop in the middle of what we are doing. We can’t stop, because our penises are on full blast, because our penises are in full control at this point, and we are the observers. We ourselves are having a conversation with our penis, saying, "Man you know this isn't going to work. "Penis says, "Shut up and sit down!" And afterwards when we regain control of our penises again, we will come to the same conclusion and our penises will agree, “This is not going to work.” Usually, it’s not going to work because the vagina is too big or has a bad smell. These are the main reasons that come to mind, too big, too wide, too loose, no bottom. It’s like sticking your penis in the middle of a Big Gulp! You never feel the sides or the bottom of the cup. It’s like open space. A vagina that's too small is usually OK and can be worked out on our behalf, but the woman may not like it at first or be able to deal with the initial pain to open her up to the diameter and depth needed. Usually, after a few sessions, women seem to adjust pretty quickly.

As we observe in amazement, it will almost be like there was never an issue of her being too small. That’s the power of the vagina. A man can never truly out do or out pump a well lubricated vagina, impossible, as a woman can never control a man’s penis. In fact, a man can't even control his own penis. A penis has a mind of its own at a certain point in time. Usually from just prior to insertion, the penis is in full control and the man is observing. Contrary to what men think, in the end the vagina always wins. It’s elastic.

Blaise S.

www.HowToGetTheManOfYourDreams.com

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What Men Really Think About You in the Club

By How To Get The Man Of Your Dreams.com posted Dec 23rd on YourTango.com

Men will consider sleeping with the trashy looking girl, but will never bring her home to mama.

Men and women usually go to the club for vastly different reasons. Men go to the club to find women, find women, and to find women. Women go to the club to sometimes find a man, but also to enjoy themselves by dancing and drinking the night away with friends.

 

Men are reactionary creatures. If you want to know what we think about you at the club, all you need to do is evaluate one thing: Your activity at the club. Men read what women give us to read. It’s as simple as that. Let us break down a few scenarios for you so you can have a deeper understanding of just how men think. Although we really don’t think all that deeply about much when we’re at the club.

What She’s Wearing

This tells us a lot, and regardless of what you may think or say, dressing provocatively is a choice; a choice thought about and realized by you. If the way you dress is too over the top, quality men will be concerned and will wonder if you are at the club for business rather than leisure. If what you are wearing is causing as many concerns as looks, the man of your dreams is going to look elsewhere. Dressing sexy and dressing trashy are two separate things, and not knowing the difference or understanding the message you are sending could be deterring the amount of quality men that ask you out. Men will consider sleeping with the trashy looking girl, but will never bring her home to mama.

How She Dances

Everyone has their own inner freak, and sometimes that inner freak reveals itself on the dance floor, especially after a few drinks. However, if your dance moves are extremely risqué, you are not only going to attract the type of guy who has no plans for the future, but will only attract guys interested in hooking up after the club. This will also tell any man of your dreams that you could become an embarrassing liability at a family wedding or work function if you have a couple drinks and music starts playing. Remember, there is always a time and place for your inner freak to come out. It’s usually in private rooms with your partner, not out in the middle of the dance floor while wearing a micro-skirt. Tease & Please: 7 Lessons You Can Learn From Strippers

Who She Talks To

The men you flirt and converse with while at the club will also give a clear message to potential suitors as to what type of person you may be. If we see you flirting with numerous men to use them for a night of free drinks and endless attention, that tells us you are immature, manipulative and probably too consumed with yourself to build a long-term relationship with us. If you are actively seeking the man of your dreams, don’t let your standards fall on club night. It is possible to find the man of your dreams in a club, but not if you’re paying attention to the wrong guys. Get our e-book "The 14 Step Program to Finding and Keeping the Man of Your Dreams"

Behavior Inside and Outside the Club

Are you totally wasted, stumbling around drunk inside the club and hugging or kissing anything walking? If that sounds like you, you can bet you’ll just end up being used by men who see an opportunity for their own gratification. Being in control while having fun is sexy and shows quality men that you enjoy the moment and don’t have to rely on overloading on alcohol to have fun. Make sure you are not out in the parking lot engaging in crude sexual acts or compromising situations - you may not be with the man of your dreams, but if he walks by and notices you in a less than flattering scenario, he will be sure to stay far away from you in the future.

What you need to understand about men at a club is that there are two types. There’s the guy who’s just out hanging with his buddies. He’s not there to really meet anyone. He’s just having a good time. If he meets someone, then great. If not, then no big deal. The second guy is there for one thing and one thing only. Think National Geographic. It’s mating season. Now, these two types of men will react in very different ways to the women in the club. It takes a keen eye to spot these differences, but after reading this, you’ll catch on.

The girl who shows up to the club begging for attention by wearing extremely revealing clothing and acting extremely flirtatious will get looks from all the guys. Many of them will approach her. She’s given off a signal that MOST men will read as “easy”. They’ll look at her as the one to go after and try to bed that night. Or, they’ll exchange numbers with this woman and their ultimate goal will be to try to get her in the bedroom as soon as possible. The One Problem With Being His F%@K Buddy

Now, you know and we know that flirtatious behavior and revealing clothing do not mean a woman is easy, but men WILL read you that way based on your presentation and actions. It’s pretty safe to say that the second type of guy will approach her in the club. The first type of guy will look, but will probably have her figured out. If he does approach her, it will be with the same attitude of “if it happens, great, if not, then no big deal”. The universal way of thinking, though, will be as stated earlier. We’ll look at her like she’s the one to try to bed the same night…or soon after. She’s not the one, for the most part, that any man will be thinking of forming a lasting relationship with.

The woman who shows up to the club, looking good (sexy without all of her assets hanging out), smelling good, and carrying herself with respect gives off a different presence all together. She will stand out no matter where she is. And men, even in the midst of a club, will take notice.

She’s the one who doesn’t have to be the center of attention. She’s the one who doesn’t have to be three sips from drunk to have a good time. She’s the one who doesn’t need twenty guys drooling over her to know she looks good. Ah yes, this woman will definitely get attention. And she’ll get it from both types of guys. But here’s the difference.

A woman who carries herself in this fashion is a powerful lady. She not only understands how important it is to display self-respect, but she also demands others to respect her as well. Yes, she’ll be approached by just as many men as her clueless counterpart, but she’ll be mentally more prepared to handle them. She’ll be able to separate the idiots from the man or men that she MAY give a chance to get to know her. (Need tips on identifying these men? Talk to our Relationship Coaches for guidance.) Like we said, men are reactionary. If you carry yourself with class, the good guys will treat you as such, no matter where they meet you. It’s all dependent on what type of attention YOU’RE trying to get.

Remember, class and self-respect can work anywhere, be it the library, the grocery store, online, or even in the club. You make a man respect you, and he has no choice but to. And those idiots who still come at you sideways won’t stand a chance anyway.

- Relationship Coach Paul V. and Jason B.

www.HowToGetTheManOfYourDreams.com

The 14 Step Program to Finding and Keeping the Man of Your Dreams – eBook

 

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Avoid this Guy! 14 Reasons To Dump Him

 

By Jane Garapick posted Dec 31st YoruTango.com

Sure, he looks cute, but he's really the devil in disguise.A guy who's not relationship material always lets you know; you just have to know what to look for.

When I look back at all the relationships that didn’t work out (that I so wanted to at the time), I realize that in every case, there were early warning signs that each guy gave me that could have given me some idea of the heartbreak I was about to experience if I had only been aware of what to look for. To spare you from what happened to me, to give you the inside scoop on what you can be on the lookout for, here’s my list of the warning signs that clearly let you know that this is a guy to avoid if it's a real relationship you're looking for.

1. He doesn’t call you when he says he’s going to.
Granted, I know that sometimes life can get it the way, and if he’s working late on that big project with the looming deadline it’s possible that time might get away from him once in a while. But if this happens more than once or twice, it’s a sure sign that you’re just not a priority for him right now. If a guy is really interested in starting (or continuing) a real relationship with you, you will be on his mind, and he won’t forget to call.

2. He’s often late and doesn’t call to let you know.
I know there are lots of reasons people can run late that are beyond their control (traffic jam, car problems, being stuck at the office), but a quick call from his cell phone will put your mind at ease, and let you know that you have a few more minutes to try on that one other outfit you were still considering. The point here is about being respectful of your time – we can forgive lateness, even chronic lateness (some people just aren’t good at judging how much time something will take), but not calling to let you know he’ll be a little late? That’s inexcusable and a sure sign that he’s not too concerned about you.

3. He doesn’t show up at all (and doesn’t call) when you have plans to see him.
OK ladies, unless he was (verifiably) unconscious in a hospital somewhere, getting stood up is a “one strike and you’re out” offense. There is absolutely no good reason for this (except the one above), and if you stay with him after a maneuver like that, you’ll be in for a very bumpy emotional ride that’s almost guaranteed to end badly. Cell phone reception is excellent these days (unless he’s a lumberjack working in the great North Woods), so this one is unforgiveable.

4. He has rules about how often he can see you.
It’s one thing to have the boys’ “Wednesday Poker Night”, or something along those lines, but if he’s only willing to get together say, every other weekend (with the exception being a child custody situation), then that’s a sure sign he’s keeping his options open and still scouring the market for something better (at least in his mind – he just doesn’t realize that you’re the best thing going!).

5. He knows way more about you than you know about him.
If you find yourself doing all the talking during your conversations, and when you ask him something about himself he doesn’t say much, it may be because he’s hiding something or doesn’t want to get too close to you. Many guys just aren’t big talkers, but if he hasn’t told you the details of where he works, where he grew up, went to school, etc., and if he gives you vague answers when you ask him about these specifics, then that means he’s keeping you at a distance.

6. You know way more about him than he knows about you.
This one is the flip side to the last warning sign - if he’s so busy talking all about himself, and shows no interest in who you are, what you like to do, or what your idea of the future looks like, this should be a real red flag. The good news about this one is that there’s no danger of taking it personally – it’s all about him. It has nothing to do with you – this kind of guy isn’t interested in anyone – but himself. Steer clear (way clear).

7. He doesn’t tell anyone about you. (Read: No one knows he has a girlfriend – YOU)
If he doesn’t introduce you to his friends, or ask you to hang out with them once in a while, go to a party or get together with them - that’s a sure sign that he’s not sure about the whole thing. Of course you may not want to hang out with his friends much, particularly if they’re a group of partying bachelors, but they should at least know about you, and it should be your decision. How they treat you when you’re around can also be a big tell-tale sign of how things are going or will go – if they kind of treat you like “yeah, you’re the girlfriend of the month, I’ll talk to you if you can make it past week 4”, then that’s a sign of what’s likely to be coming next.

8. He doesn’t invite you to meet his family – ever.
Of course inviting you to meet the family is a big deal, as it should be, and it doesn’t happen until he feels like this thing is going somewhere. So that’s just it – if time is starting to drag on, and he still hasn’t invited you to meet his family, the likelihood is that he’s having doubts about the relationship. There is the outside chance that he’s embarrassed by his family. I have a good friend whose husband’s family (which consists of his elderly mother and Aunt, who raised him together and still both live together) are essentially, well, mildly deranged. They look like the stereotypical “bag ladies”, and even showed up for my friends nuptials wearing multiple layers of ragged clothing and carrying some of their belongings in what were essentially re-useable shopping bags. But he had told her about them fairly early on in their relationship, and she did finally meet them. And let me say, as far as mildly deranged people go, they’re very sweet (I met them at the wedding), and they did a great job at raising their son/nephew.
So the bottom line is that if the relationship has been going on for some time – just to put a number on it, let’s say over 6 months – and he hasn’t invited you to meet his family yet, it’s certainly time to question him about it. If he still doesn’t introduce you? Time to start planning your exit strategy.

9. He doesn’t spend the holidays with you.
I know there are situations, such as when a divorced man wants to spend time with his children at the family holiday get together, but even then he can make time for you either before or after his family time. Everyone knows how special holidays are to us women, and if he doesn’t, then that’s a sign of other issues (for example, not being considerate and thoughtful regarding your feelings). If he’s just taking off on a surf vacation to Bali with his buddies over the holidays because that’s when it’s less crowded, and you’re not invited, then you’re clearly a low priority to him.

10. He’s got lots of female friends – and makes sure you know this.
In my experience, “platonic” friendships are rarely, if ever, that – there are almost always some feelings in one direction. Either the guy is secretly harboring feelings for the girl, or vice versa. And when a guy is in a relationship, he has so much less time to spend with his buddies – why on earth would he ever choose to spend that precious time with another woman? Well, there are a number of reasons he might, and they all involve one deep seated issue or another, and none of them are good. And making sure you know about it? That’s just playing games, and just another reason to get out and find yourself an emotionally healthy man to be in a relationship with.

11. He doesn’t tell you what he’s doing, where he’s going, or when he’ll be back.
If your guy likes to keep you guessing, there’s a reason. This is another sure sign that he’s keeping his options open. In a healthy relationship there’s no hiding or secrets. If he’s not being open and upfront about his whereabouts, then stop worrying about it – just move on.

12. He doesn’t talk about his plans for the future with you.
I’m all for living in the moment and enjoying the “now”. But eventually in a relationship a discussion of future plans has got to come up – otherwise you’ll never know if the two of you are sailing together or heading towards different continents. If he’s not at least occasionally talking about the future with you then chances are, in his mind, you’re not in it.

13. He lets you know he had a life without you and he still has a life without you.
I mean, sure, when you’re first dating, it’s interesting to hear about the places your guy has been and all of the fun times he’s had with his friends. But if he’s still reminiscing about his single life escapades after your relationship has moved to the next level, or worse, making plans to have more of those escapades (without you), then the truth is he still wants to be single. Let him.

14. You feel like if you could just change yourself and not be so needy, this would all work out.
This is by far the biggest warning sign of all. If you start to feel that there’s something wrong with you, or you’re doing something wrong that’s causing him to pull away, and maybe if you just gave him more of the freedom he wants, and wait for him quietly, and…well, you get it. Don’t fall into this trap. If you want a real relationship, equipped with real feelings, real caring, real consideration, and real romance, and he doesn’t, then he’s not the right guy for you and let him (and yourself) go.

If you see any of these warning signs, and especially if you see several of them, chances are that this is not a guy that’s looking for a real relationship right now – or at least not the kind you’re looking for. Your best bet is to walk away gracefully, with your self-esteem intact, and not look back (even if he then starts calling you and chasing you – that’s just a sign of a game-player with deeper issues). Rather than trying to get him to change or waiting for him to come around, try focusing on you and why you’re in a relationship with someone like this. If you find yourself in this type of relationship often, which many of us do, it’s time for some real soul searching to get to the root of it. If you have access to good counseling, take advantage of it, as many times this is the only way to true healing. And it will be worth it in the long run, to get you past the cycle of toxic relationships so you can move on to the kind of true, sustainable love that you want to attract into your life.

Sometimes it’s hard to see when we’re in it, but know that if you’re settling for less than you deserve, there truly is someone out there ready and waiting to give you what you’re looking for – and to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. It’s in believing in ourselves, trusting our gut instincts and discovering who we really are and what we’re really looking for, that all the other pieces of the puzzle fall into place and we find ourselves finally getting it right and discovering the love of our lives – the one who doesn’t come with any red flags. And you deserve nothing less than that, no matter where you’ve been or what you’ve been through.

It’s all out there waiting for you!

Jane Garapick knows firsthand what it’s like to have a broken heart, a broken dream, and a broken you. She writes about adventures on the rocky road to finding Mr. Right at http://www.gettingtotruelove.com.

 

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Why Do I Always Attract Crazy Men?

By How To Get The Man Of Your Dreams.com posted on yourtango.com

The question is, why do some women always attract the crazy men? The answer is you.

Every woman is working with the same pool of men. Say there are four billion men on Planet Earth. This is the pool of men that you have to work with. In this pool, there are going to be gentlemen, pimps, players, hustlers, and psychos. But, it’s the same pool of men. It’s not like the crazy men are coming from outside this pool. The question is, why do some women always attract the crazy men? The answer is you. You can either repel or invite these men into your life. The only reason you attract crazy men is because you talk to them. Like our FaceBook Page

Men look for holes in women’s armor. If you have a weakness, we will find it. In fact, it’s our innate nature. When you spill water, it will find and drip down into every crack and crevice. Men who are attracted to you are much like water. Women who have a solid foundation are less likely to attract crazy men, because there are very few holes in their armor through which the water can enter. With these women, men have to search very hard to find holes. Most will tire themselves out and set out for the easier prey, the same way lions hunt the weakest, not the strongest, of the prey.

There are women who are fun to be with but don’t seem to have holes in their armor. Most men are too afraid to approach these women on a physical level because they can’t find holes to enter. To pierce the armor of these women, the man must have legitimate intentions. These women are less likely to attract crazy men. But, if you are a very open woman and will listen to any conversation, no matter how weird, then you are inviting these crazy men into your life.

In general, some men love easy prey and less work. Easy prey is much easier to sleep with, and usually open to all kinds of experiences. The key women need to know is when to let loose, and when to hold back. It’s okay to be freaky, but remember that we love, and marry, the women whose freakiness is subtle, not obvious. We love to sleep with and look at the women who are obviously freaky, but 9.9 times out of 10, we don’t want to marry them.

Always remember, though, to be courteous, and never judge a book by its cover. There is a difference between a legitimate prospect showing persistent interest in you and a crazy stalker. How can you tell? Well, if a man shows up at your house, and you did not give him your address, he is the latter. If you allow a man to spend the night on your couch and you wake up in the middle of the night with him staring you in the face, he is crazy. And if you continue to allow him to sleep on the couch for any reason, you are also crazy.

If you find yourself asking why you keep attracting crazy men, keep in mind that not everyone accepts these men and their weird ideas or conversations into their lives. The solution is to close up some of the holes in your armor. Set yourself a set of standards to follow, and stick with them. The question is, why would you listen to these men who end up being crazy? What are you curious about? What are you searching for?

Relationship Coach Simon S.

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The One Problem With Being His F%@K Buddy

 

By How To Get The Man Of Your Dreams.com posted on yourtango.com

"How in the hell did this happen when all I wanted was sex?" You have this one hormone to thank.

Well first let's define F%&! Buddy. According to Urbandictionary.com definition numero 6. (The explanation our relationship coaches liked most) breaks it down pretty clear: F%@K Buddy: All the benefits of having a relationship minus the bullshit like acting interested in Every Word He Says, trying to sleep through mega-hertz snores, feeling like shit when he can't use a calendar to remember your birthday, and being nice about it when he doesn't make you come.

"So are things getting serious with Luis?"
"Nope - we skip the serious and go for the fuck. We're fuck buddies."

This type of relationship seems to be the ideal situation for most single, hard working career focused women and we find nothing wrong with this if you are 100% aware of what you are getting into and can keep your feelings in check. HOWEVER...more often than not feelings sneak up on people in these type of relationships and once the sex act is over it can leave the man and especially the woman feeling like there is something missing. Now if un-attached dick is the fix you truly want then there are plenty of pickings out there to choose from but you must ask yourself some very honest questions. Why do I want sex without love, and committment? Is it because I want to fulfill my sexual needs or is it because I am tired of being hurt by men and this is a sure fire way to not let them in....no pun intended. Well, maybe it is.

The act of sex is very bonding whether you realize this or not. It is not just about the exchange of bodily fluids but there is also an exchange of energy as well. Mix this with scientific data that supports how hormones are produced during sex that creates bonds and you are quite certain to have a recipe for emotional attachment mainly on the woman's part. This is why you will hear alot of women say "Why can't I leave him alone when I know he's no good for me?"

Here's what our relationship coaches dug up. According to the following article on LiveScience.com "In women, oxytocin is released. It's a chemical that makes women want to nurture their young and stay close. Men get a huge jolt of testosterone, which suppresses oxytocin, and that's nature's way of saying, 'Leave the nest and go sire offspring somewhere else.' So when women think they can have sex and walk away just like guys do, they're having to suppress thousands of years of evolution that tells them to cuddle."

Now we know what some of you ladies are going to say, which is it that it happens to guys as well. Yes you are correct, but with men it is not as hormonal and has more to do with their attraction, lust and how you make them feel. Where as with women there is an invisible bond that is being created. If you are having amazing sex with your F%@K Buddy over and over and over again you are sure to sing the blues once he finds his ideal mate and stops seeing you.

Now this unique relationship will be all fine with you until your F%@K Buddy meets The Woman Of His Dreams. (HowToGetTheWomanOfYourDreams.com launching soon!) So without judgement we understand the need and desire for F%@K Buddies but we want to educate you and help you understand that these situations do not always have the most positive outcomes. Someone typically gets their feelings hurt and is left with a broken heart and they will usually ask themselves "How in the hell did this happen to me when all I wanted was just sex?" You have the oxytocin to thank for this. Hopefully this article will help you out and for those who are looking into a F%@K Buddy partnership...you've been warned.

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12 New Year's Resolutions Every Couple Should Make

 

By Meghan Beresford posted on YourTango.com

 

Making New Year's resolutions as a couple is a sure way to help your relationship rock in 2012.

New Year's resolutions tend to get a bad rap for being, well, fruitless. But making resolutions with a partner can help you stick to your promises and can also strengthen your relationship. This list of resolutions-for-two will help you ring the New Year in right, and keep your relationship rockin' all year long.

1) Do "Good Things" together (and not just around the holidays). Everyone feels generous around the holidays, and in December, soup kitchens get so many volunteers that they have to turn helpers away. These organizations need volunteers desperately at other times of the year, so you and your sweetie will make a huge impact if you skip the Christmas day goodness and volunteer year-round instead. If you're a Christmas lover, do your good deeds on the 25th of each month. It's the gift that keeps on giving!

2) Eat mindfully. When you're coupled, it's easy to cozy up on the couch and shovel down Chinese food while watching movies. Not only does this habit pack on the pounds, but it skips the fun and intimacy that can come with preparing and sharing food, too. Choose healthy recipes, and make your date nights special by cooking and eating together. Better than an overpriced restaurant any day! 11 Romantic Ways To Lose Weight As A Couple

3) Sweat together. If you're part of a tubby tandem and serious about ditching extra pounds, enlist your partner as a workout buddy. If you're not overweight, exercising with your partner is still a great way to improve your overall health. And everyone knows that the rosy cheeks and heavy breathing exercise brings reminds us of other things that involve rosy cheeks and heavy breathing. Speaking of which...

4) Make sexytime a priority. When we're busy, sex can get lost in the shuffle, but it's too good for your relationship, your health, and your mood to skip. Make time to reconnect with your partner in the sack by scheduling a weekend "staycation." If the sex has become lackluster, put some energy into figuring out how to make it exciting again. It might be a new position, a new toy, or just a straight-up change of venue (kitchen, anyone?).

5) Stop squabbling. If you have a serious beef with your partner, it's important to bring it up, but try to avoid petty arguments and insults. One nitpicky fight isn't a big deal, but over time, small backbiting comments can erode the foundation of your relationship. Pick your battles. When you sense a fight on the horizon, try to calm yourself momentarily and ask "Is this worth disturbing the peace for?" Don't Let The Toilet Seat Ruin Your Relationship

6) Strive for emotional honesty. Even the bluntest among us has avoided explaining feelings to a lover at one time or another. It can be hard to share with your partner (especially if you're experiencing a thorny, irrational emotion like jealousy) but it's important that you keep your mate in the loop so that he can act appropriately. Saying "I feel" instead of "you made me feel" will help you and your partner stay focused on resolving the negative emotions without it turning into a blamefest.

7) Nuke multitasking. When you're spending time with your sweet, banish buzzes, bleeps and chirps from your computer and phone. Don't scroll through your texts while your partner is talking to you, or IM a friend while you're supposed to be planning dinner. You may think you can do two things at once, but when you do, you're sending your partner the message that they're not worth your full attention. If you both have things you must do on your phone or computer, set a block of time aside to accomplish the tasks, and then move on with your evening (and don't even think of counting your tech time together as a 'date'!). Is Multitasking Destroying Relationships?

8) Treat your partner as well as you treat your friends. It's easy to take your romantic partner for granted, and sometimes we don't treat our lovers as well as we should. Like family, we assume that they're in it for the long haul and when we're stressed, our romantic relationships that take extra abuse. Ask yourself if you say or do things to your partner that you wouldn't do to your best friend, and if you discover that you do, adjust your behavior accordingly. And, remember, it takes practice to change a habit; don't give up if you don't change overnight.

9) Listen. Don't nod automatically as he talks. Don't wait for your turn to speak. Don't do the dishes while he tells you about his day. Sit down, look him in the eye, pay attention to what he says, and ask follow-up questions. This is one of the best things you can do for your relationship. Active listening is a skill that has to be honed with time and effort, but it's incredibly important. Work at it.

10) Criticize less than you praise. When you spend a lot of time with someone, it becomes easy to overlook the things that are great about them. Instead of dwelling on his bad habits, remind yourself of the reasons you fell for him in the first place. Then remind him! Couples who have been together for a long time tend to forget to compliment one another. Try to dish out three compliments for every criticism, and don't be shocked if he mirrors your actions. Shared appreciation breeds kindness and consideration, and what couple couldn't use more of that?

11) Break a bad habit together. If you and your man share a habit that's less-than-great for you, help one another break it instead of encouraging the behavior within your relationship. Instead of nudging one another outside for smoke breaks, make a pact to limit yourselves to a certain number of cigarettes a day. If you drink too much together, make a two-drink rule and try to stick to it.

12) Play! One of the worst things about being an adult is the total lack of juice boxes, naptime and recess. (What's up with that?) Thankfully, the dullness of the workday world doesn't have to extend to your personal life. Infuse your partnership with a sense of play. Have pillow fights, talk in funny voices, and draw mustaches on the models in your ladymags. Do something creative together... take a guitar class, throw pottery, or learn to roll sushi. Whatever. Stepping outside of your routine can bring you and your partner closer, and it'll ensure that things never get boring between you. Tips For A Great New Year's Eve

Here's to a Happy New Year... and to your relationship growing stronger than ever in 2012!

 

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